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Dating Advice: Why Are You So Nervous?
By : Daryl Campbell
You do not need any dating advice to know that we live in a time where there are more new avenues and opportunities available than at any other time in history.
| Thanks to the changing attitudes concerning the relationship between men and women, dating has entered a whole new realm. Factor in some of the newer innovations like internet and speed dating and it becomes clear the possibilities seem almost endless.
But times cannot change what many of us feel before, during and after a date. In spite of knowing the other person for quite some time, being comfortable with them in a different environment and getting an enthusiastic yes when you ask them for a date, it still does not stop your nerves from giving you plenty of grief. |
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A big part of being nervous is of course you want the date to go right. Carefully planning a date and then watching it fall apart before your eyes is a nightmare we all dread. No question if you have ever experienced this, there is a little voice of doubt saying, "Here we go again." Another reason however is confidence. You may not have experienced a bad date or this may even be your first date but you still feel shaky. For some reason it always seems like the equivalent of having to do a public speaking engagement in front of a tough audience.
It is not to that extreme but it can feel like you are auditioning and in a way you are. You are selling the product known as you and hope the prospective buyer (your date) like what they see and hear. If not then you have to deal with rejection which is a bitter pill to swallow. Everyone wants to be accepted on some level. When you open up to someone and they say no then it can make you nervous about doing it again. No is a simple word that packs a terrific punch that can shake anyone to the core.
So what's the alternative? Not to date anyone and in the long run that's far worst. Never giving a relationship a chance because your nerves just could not stand anything unconstructive can do more damage than experiencing rejection. No matter how bad the rejection, you can always move forward with your life. Rejection means they have missed out on the opportunity to know more about wonderful you.
Your date is not on a pedestal. You do not have to grovel before them in the hopes they accept you. It is all about give and take and realizing both of you are on the same level. Be confident in what you have to offer the other person. If they accept, then that is something to build on, if not then wish them well and keep looking for the person that is more in tune to your frequency; they do exist.
Accept the fact that a certain amount of nervousness is going to exist and in some ways can keep you focused on the task at hand. But do everything in your power to make sure it does not take center stage. Relax and expect that you and your date will have a good time. With that mindset you will. |
