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General Information and Reviews on Marriage
By : Amanda Maseko
With marriage many couples don't have security that their spouse is in the marriage to stay. First you should learn to talk to your spouse about your resolve to bring security to your marriage and kick the word "divorce" out of your relationship. Whatever the reasons are, the mean yours and ours syndrome is not likely to go away soon unless we can go into a marriage and truly become one with our spouse.
| The problems
When spouses begin to feel neglected they often start with the subtle plea, a gentle reminder that they feel that they aren't important any more, that they feel unloved, undervalued and that another of those common marriage problems, boredom with the daily routine has set in. If you enter into marriage you need to do so with the thought that most common marriage problems can and should be resolved before they start to destroy the foundations of the marriage. Many common marriage problems are driven by insecurity and can be easily resolved merely through addressing the issues that have created the unease in the first place. |
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Like most common marriage problems if you are prepared to make an effort loss of intimacy in a marriage is relatively easy to resolve but the further apart you allow yourselves to grow the harder it is to get that marriage back on track. If you are prepared to take the time to really consider the cause of an action such as adultery you will often find that in a large majority of cases there is an underlying root cause, perhaps a seemingly small common marriage problem that compounded to such a degree as to result in adultery.
When dealing with marriage problems, the best option for couples is to talk to each other. The secret to a perfect marriage isn't to marry a clone, its learning how to accept each other, making an effort to understand each other, learning how to communicate and knowing how to recognize and fix those little wiggly common marriage problems before they escalate out of control. The lesson that needs to be learned is that all marriages with or without children need that special marriage time.
The counseling
With counseling you should leave the appointment with an understanding of whether or not the therapist will always see you together or if you'll sometimes be seen separately, the therapist's general approach to marriage counseling, what to expect from therapy, what the goals are, and the projected number of sessions it will take. It would be advisable to start your marriage counseling on an early basis-preferably before you get married or early in the marriage, especially if you sense that the two of you are having communication problems with each other.
Timely counseling can save your marriage - if both partners are commited to the marriage and to the counseling process. I am all for marriage counseling to save marriage, however, very often people are being paid huge sums to point out the blindingly obvious. In my opinion, the most helpful and perhaps the healthiest way for people to look at marriage counseling is to consider it routine maintenance and not a last ditch effort to save a lost cause.
Let's face it; if you're looking for advice on marriage, you could spend DAYS researching on the internet without even scratching the surface of all the marriage advice that's out there. If you are single, dating, or trying to get to "I DO" and spend too much time hurting and not enough time loving this may be the most important love relationship advice you could ever receive.
And if removing the television from your bedroom sounds too drastic, at least consider initiating a conversation with your spouse about these findings and whether your marriage might benefit from less TV watching in the evenings. Believe me; it's MUCH easier to do something nice for your spouse when you're feeling optimistic about your marriagethan it is to "force" yourself to be the first one to take a step towards a better marriage. Note: If "hugs = sex" in your marriage, it's time to make a change. |
